eelive.ng has taken the initiative to ask five Nigerian youths about their thoughts on ‘billing’ modern relationships. Specifically, these individuals were asked to disclose their feelings about seeking financial assistance and what could be described as entitlement in a romantic relationship.
Speaking with various youths from different walks of life, they shared their opinions and gave their perspectives on what they think about billing and its nuances. Before delving into the conversation with our guests, we would like to deliver the various explanations and perspectives of what the term ‘Billing’ means.
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What Does Billing Mean?
The simple answer is that Billing means to solicit or beg for funds. However, we wouldn’t stop there, understanding that the term ‘billing’ implies the need for further explanation.
In Nigerian relationship lingua, “billing” refers to when one partner (often the girlfriend, but it can go both ways) constantly asks the other for money, gifts, or financial support.
It originates from the concept of being “billed,” similar to receiving an invoice.
Also, it is essential to note that even in relationships, “billing” can be lighthearted, that is like playful requests for small treats, or it could also be serious, consistent financial expectations that put pressure on the other person.
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What Do Nigerians Think About It?
The primary objective of this vox pop session is to hear about the various perspectives of Nigerians. For privacy reasons, we wouldn’t be using the real names of our interviewees.
Read what Nigerian youths have to say below:
According to Sodex:
“Billing on Dates…”
When it comes to billing and splitting costs, who pays, and how it’s decided in modern relationships, I’d say traditionally, men were expected to pick up the bill, especially on dates. That dynamic was tied to old gender roles: men as providers, women as dependents. Conversely, we’re in the modern age, where things have been a little bit different because both parties work and earn a living.
Therefore, the concept of 50-50, as it emerged in the latter half of the 20th century, coincided with shifting societal views on gender roles and partnerships. While the term itself may have gained popularity around this time, the core principle of equal partnership in marriage was influenced by the growing focus on egalitarianism and a departure from traditional, hierarchical marriage structures.
“50/50 Split…”
A 50/50 approach to marriage does not work out in Nigeria for a staggering majority of the population because it conflicts with traditional gender roles and the concept of a man’s primary responsibility for his family, with many men feeling a 50/50 split ignores the significant duties they hold.
While a 50/50 split can be seen as fair and equal, the reality of achieving such a balance can be complex, as it’s hard to measure individual contributions and can lead to feelings of unmet expectations on both sides.
He added, “Since it’s very few that work out, which is an exception, but unfortunately, exceptions don’t make the rules, the world doesn’t work based on exceptions, the world operates based on generalities.
According to new studies, modern conventions don’t change biological hard wiring in both men and women. This means most men still marry for access and sex, youthfulness, fertility, and beauty, and women still marry for stability, financial security, and socioeconomic status, which makes women hypergamous in nature.
Most women still want a man who can lead them in a relationship, a man who is stronger than they are, taller than they are, a man who can pay the bills, protect them, provide for them, and a man who is better than they are in all regards. This furthermore proves the fact that men and women are not the same, and we have different roles to play in society, especially when it comes to sexual dynamics and biology; we are 100% different.
I think this is the concept that most men and women don’t understand in modern relationship settings. The question I think most people should ask themselves in a marriage is this: Is everyone doing their duties and responsibilities? Is the man paying most of the bills? Is he bringing home the bread? Do you guys have a roof over your head? Does he handle almost the largest responsibility? If he does, he’s done his part.
That said, and you as the wife, have you been supportive? If he comes home, I hope you don’t give him any more stress. Have you done your job too on that end as the woman? However, what you bring to the table as a woman financially is a plus, but we can’t downplay the role of traditional relationships in society completely.
The matrix of a man and woman in marriage weighs heavily on what the man provides. The difference is that a woman loves a man for different reasons than he loves her. The man’s ability to provide security is a very heavy factor in every decision to take a man seriously in a relationship.
This is not a bad thing, and I think every man should adjust to this reality because women are not going to lower their standards anyway, because they make the rules. But the problem is that,
most women want traditional relationships, but they don’t want to be traditional women, and that’s the problem which bring us back to a full circle that modern relationships seems to be an unrealistic hope or wish that cannot be achieved even as we’re in the modern times cause, most people still want to fall back to traditional relationship in the disguise of practicing modern relationship which in itself is a double standard. People don’t even think about the things that make a relationship work in the long term, such as responsibility, duty, commitment, and the idea of labour.
So, I think people have unrealistic expectations in modern relationships in general, and those expectations are not what will make the relationship last in the first place.
Conclusion From Sodex…
In conclusion, I have realised that men and women both have a big role to play in society to make relationships work.
According to Mopels:
When I think about billing, I think Nigeria’s concept is exclusive, especially among people who are not married (lol). There is an entitlement mentality that men give and women receive.
We already know that the economy is tough for everybody, people are hustling, so it will be unfair to place financial pressure on one person. You should not turn a relationship into an ATM setting.
To me, I don’t believe love should be measured by the amount of money exchanged. Of course, it is natural for partners to support each other financially once in a while, but it should flow out of
love and willingness, not constant requests or entitlement. Billing becomes unhealthy when it feels like the relationship is more about transactions than genuine care.
At the same time, I also understand that showing care often involves giving, whether it is money, time, or small, thoughtful gestures. But it should go both ways.
A woman can also support her man, even if not financially, by being thoughtful, encouraging, and sometimes contributing in her
own capacity.
Relationships should be about companionship and partnership. Both people should contribute in their own way. Love is sweet when you know the person is with you because they care, not just because of what is entering their account.
According to Temirose:
When it comes to billing in a relationship, it has 2 phases
Firstly, some guy gives their ladies access to be billed just because they want to satisfy them, meanwhile they have forgotten that every day is not Christmas, money can stay today and be somehow tomorrow.
The second point is that some ladies may feel that, because their father or parent is not rich, their boyfriend must be rich; they will start blaming the guy as if he’s the one responsible for the lady’s poor background.
Some ladies do copy their friends just because she’s telling them how her lover does this or that for her, their next action will be like, look at Ayobami the way he’s taking care of his girlfriend, without knowing Ayobami’s source of income.
According to Susu:
In modern relationships, the concept of “billing”—where one partner consistently expects financial support or material benefits from the other—has become a debated topic. While relationships naturally involve a level of sharing and support, billing often shifts from genuine care to transactional expectations.
On one hand, financial responsibility can be an expression of love, security, and commitment.
Partners may willingly provide for each other as a way of showing affection and ensuring comfort. In some cultural contexts, billing is normalised, with one partner, often the man, expected to shoulder expenses as proof of seriousness. For many, this aligns with traditional gender roles and provides reassurance of stability.
However, modern relationships are evolving toward more balanced partnerships. When billing becomes excessive or one-sided, it risks breeding entitlement, dependency, and resentment. True love should not be measured by how much money one spends but by respect, trust, and shared values. A healthy relationship thrives on fairness, where both partners contribute, not necessarily equally in monetary terms, but equitably based on their abilities and circumstances.
Ultimately, love should not feel like a financial transaction. Instead of billing, couples can embrace open conversations about money, responsibilities, and expectations. This fosters transparency and prevents conflicts. In today’s world, where both partners often work and pursue
personal goals, a collaborative approach to finances strengthens the bond far more than constant billing. Genuine love is best expressed through care, support, and intentional effort—qualities
that money alone cannot buy.
According to Eben:
Billing in our modern relationships has been a way of relating connectivity to only the aspect of money in our generation… dating and relationships are no longer for sound connections, chemistry, and sound values that attract both genders…
But relationships in our generation have become a way of finding the highest bidder to survive on people’s hard-earned efforts out of life, and are also seen as a means to escape lack and etc…
Furthermore, in our modern society, billing is also seen as a way to determine whether a person or partner is suitable for being ‘responsible’ in relation to the opposite gender. For a
relationship, so our modern society has made it a norm for billings to be a criterion to check, and where the opposite gender is interested in them for relationship, dating, and sex….
Which is absolutely not the way forward for a better dating, relationship, and marriage foundation for young people… thanks.
