TrueYarn: Manna from Abacha, Zlatan-puppi Neon Affair & sexy, Shallow Regina

In this age of social media, if you blink twice, you may miss something. And because everything is now fast-paced, clarity is often lost in the noise of click-bait headlines, unending chatter of Twitter lords and visual excesses of Instagram sensations.

Enters TrueYarn to sift through the clutter, offer some insight, common sense and help you read between the lines of the ‘things wey dey happen for obodo Naija’.

Here goes:

‘Spicy Hot’ BBNaija

The productivity level of Nigerian youths — and many adults — is about to take a major nosedive.

BBNaija, the reality TV show that teaches us nothing yet keeps us glued to our TV screens, will be back on June 30.

In the coming months, don’t be surprised if many businesses and companies refuse to renew their DStv subscriptions.

And according to BBNaija organisers, the new season will be ‘spicy hot’; which probably means you can expect many shower moments, lewd encounters, and of course, the ‘BBNaija is immoral’ preachers.

Bad market.

Neon lives of Zlatan-puppi

Rocking neon-coloured shirts, Zlatan Ibile and Hushpuppi recently struck a pose in front of the same neon-coloured Brabus jeep — and we are not even hating.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BySv2h_l0qU/

There’s absolutely nothing wrong in posing with someone else’s car. In fact, there’s no big deal if two Instagram sensations do so with the same vehicle.

After all, great minds really do think alike… and they often tend to inspire greatness in others.

Neon way.

Momodu promoting pollution

Just the other day, billionaire businessman, Cosmas Maduka, hit the street to do the Lord’s work but little did he know that he’d be accused of contributing to the prevalent noise pollution in Lagos.

Dele Momodu, Ovation publisher and PR guru, was so fascinated by the act that he couldn’t help but publicize the already public act.

Amidst the cacophony of ‘wow’, ‘imagine’, and ‘such a humble man’ on Twitter, author Lola Shoneyin chipped in another angle.

“Is shouting in the streets through a megaphone how you practice your faith? Would you tolerate a Sango-worshipper doing the same?” she asked.

Uncle Dele, the floor is yours.

Abacha helping Nigeria from beyond

President Muhammadu Buhari once said former military dictator Sani Abacha did not steal. Perhaps, he was right.

The latest £211 million recovery may be a validation of sorts. It has also offered fresh, unpopular perspective on the so-called Abacha Loot.

To some, “Abacha opened kiddies savers account for us and is now sending us alerts” while others say he was “the man who saw tomorrow and knew Nigeria will need a rainy day fund”.

Someone even said, “it’s only fair we give Abacha a posthumous national award” for sending us occasional pocket money for the past two decades.

Does it really matter that he saved the money in his name? After all, we are known to be poor managers of huge funds.

Sexy, shallow Regina Daniels

Regina Daniels, who has “been an adult since birth”, has disclosed all the things “you are dying to know” about her.

Unperturbed by the recent police attraction to her family and her husband’s loss of his senatorship, Daniels, in the Youtube video, said she has “worked day and night, under the rain and sun” to achieve her dream of becoming a celebrity.

The teenage movie star, who “could actually beat Serena Williams” in “long” tennis, also disclosed that she’s a sexy swimmer.

Meanwhile, she has also started taking piano lessons because she finds it “sexy for girls and so matured”.

So deep.

Side-EYE

The Blessing Okoro ‘fake house’ drama has reached a climax. Hopefully.

In her apology, Okoro said she couldn’t meet the deadline of completing her house before turning 30, hence it “put me under mental pressure for success”.

As a result of her impatience, she decided to fake it till she makes it.

Kindly accept her apology.