“They Don’t Use Breasts to Wash Plates,” Nse Ikpe-Etim at AFRIFF Panel

Yesterday afternoon was quite hot. But it was nothing compared to the heat from the AFRIFF Ask Her panel. Present on the panel were five influential women in the film industry: Tiny Mungwe, Toyin Poju-Oyemade, Sara Gouveia, Nse Ikpe-Etim, and Lala Akindoju.

The panelists talked on topics pertaining to being female in the film industry and in society at large. The conversation steered towards how society places a lot of duties and responsibilities to women when it comes to domestic matters like cleaning or care-giving.

Nollywood actress Nse Ikpe-Etim chipped in here, telling a story from when she was younger. The eldest of six children, Nse had lazy younger brothers who expected their sisters to do the dishes after they had eaten. Nse’s mother was not a fan of this.

“They don’t use breasts to wash plates” – Nse’s mother (decades ago)

According to Nse, her mother said her brothers in their native language, “They don’t use breasts to wash plates!” Nse spoke about how her mother tried to maintain a gender-neutral household. This retort, although hilarious, is very relevant.

The division of domestic labour on gender lines has left women overwhelmed with work. There is no longer the excuse of men bringing in the money because a vast majority of homes have mothers that contribute significantly to the wealth of the family.

Even in situations where the woman works full-time, she is never exempt from domestic work. It is unfair and frustrating and it needs to end.

As Nse said in May, “Ekaette has left the building. She left a long time ago. So now you eat, you wash, I eat, I wash or you wash because We are doing it together.”

We look forward to a time where work and duty will not be unequally assigned based on gender. And if everyone had the same kind of mother as Nse Ikpe-Etim, maybe we could achieve that faster.