In the year that I turned 25, I met a young man who was battling depression. He was lost and struggling, though well dressed, his eyes disclosed that there was a battle ongoing behind his physical frame.
Should look closely into his eyes, you’ll feel the emptiness emanate through his dilated pupils. A young man, but his soul was frail, and his body was weary. In his heart, he wanted meaning and a sense of belonging in this chaotic world.
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The Year that I Turned 25: Journey to Lagos
I had missed my parents in Lagos, hence, I booked the train from Ibadan to the densely populated city in Lagos state, Nigeria. My objective was to spend time with family and see friends who are still around, then eat some homemade jollof and make merry with family. I genuinely enjoy spending time with loved ones; they’ve raised me through the years, and in times of trouble, I run back to them, and when I’m experiencing happiness and joy, they are the first set of people that I want to share the information with.
As I boarded the train, I called my mum to let her know that I’m on my way. Of course, she was excited; she was looking forward to us connecting and getting to know what’s going on in her son’s life.
I took my seat on the train and started adjusting for the journey ahead. While I was settling in, a young man slid into the seat next to me. He said nothing, didn’t look at me, nor acknowledge my presence. Fair enough, I kept my face straight too.
Moments after the awkward silence, other seat partners joined us, but, for some reason, I and the first young man who sat next to me perceived that there was something that we needed to discuss. We owed each other a conversation, although we’ve never spoken before neither do we know each other, but we knew that we needed to discuss.
20 minutes into the journey, my phone rang, it was mum. She asked how the journey was going, then she said a word of prayer for me before hanging up.
While scrolling on my phone, the young man beside me finally spoke, he said, “so, you’re a Christian?”
I replied, “yes.” He said, “I don’t like Christians, they are hypocrites and are judgmental.”
I put my phone in my pocket before staring at him, I told him, “Very well man, no pressure.” I wasn’t about to have any conversations about religion or anything, if he had an issue, he should pick it up with his creator. When he noticed that I was going to engage him on conversations about religion and creed, he asked for my name and I told him.
Shortly after, we got talking about life, battles and of course, sports. We became friends almost immediately, as if we’ve known ourselves for almost ten years. Interestingly, we’ve only been gist partners for less than 30 minutes.
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The Great Depression
As we hopped from topic to topic, he finally told me about what he was going through and how talking to me has eased his burden and lifted the weight in his heart. He told me that he has been able to laugh with someone who genuinely understands him and isn’t trying to preach to him or chastise him.
As we spoke further, the young man mentioned that his parents have distanced themselves from him and his relationship with his siblings have become estranged since he no longer wanted to adhere to religious values that he was born into.
I asked him, “why?” He said, “I just got back from rehab and I’m still recuperating, my father treats me like failure and my mother stares at me like a huge disappointment… (he breaks down)” then I urged him to relax and take a deep breath. I brought out the apple from my cross bag and gave him to eat, “I usually always have extra fruit in my bag whenever I’m travelling,” I informed him.
He accepted the apple and munched on it, then, I gave him bottle water to quench his thirst. Life is already hard enough; I shouldn’t bore him with my excesses.
We kept mute for a while before he went further to tell me how he has felt empty in recent years and wants to find a new meaning to life. I urged him to take a look in the mirror first before embarking on the next chapter of his life.
Then, I asked him to call his parents and inform them that he is prepared to start afresh. He felt reluctant, but I urged to pick up the phone and let them know his whereabouts, afterwards, I admonished him to learn a new skill that can give him a new sense of purpose and essence.
In conclusion, I admonished him to give life a chance again, his life is only as tedious as his mind makes it seem. It would be last time we would see each other, however, he has been able to make amends with his estranged parents. This for me is a win in my books.
To every young man battling depression, there is light at the end of the tunnel, however, you must first learn to forgive yourself, others (including friends and family), then go again.
