TrueYarn: ‘Bad Actor’ Edochie, Tekno’s Weed Battle & Tonto’s Not-Rich Father

In this age of social media, if you blink twice, you may miss something. And because everything is now fast-paced, clarity is often lost in the noise of clickbait headlines, unending chatter of Twitter lords and visual excesses of Instagram sensations.

Enters TrueYarn to sift through the clutter, offer some insight, common sense and help you read between the lines of the ‘things wey dey happen for obodo Naija’.

Here goes:

Sugabelly Knows Best

As a veteran movie director who has churned out countless Oscar-winning movies, Twitter noisemaker Sugabelly is well within her rights to determine who is a bad actor.

Given her experience behind the camera and tutelage of multiple superstars in Nollywood and Hollywood, she is an authority in film-making – and as such, she can declare Pete Edochie a “really bad actor”.

According to Sugabelly, real name is Lotanna Igwe Odunze, the long-serving star has been typecast throughout his career – because, in her words, “he has been playing the same role his entire life”.

Well, if anyone would know, it is Sugabelly. As an active 80-year-old thespian and film critic, she’s in the best position to tell us about this “glaring elephant in the room out”.

Tonto’s Not-Rich Father

Many years ago, when men were seeking fame and fortune, Sunny Dikeh, father of actress Tonto Dikeh, “went to God for a fine face”.

How did we know this very important piece of information?

The actress herself made the interesting revelation when wondering, on social media, why her father is not rich like Aliko Dangote and Femi Otedola.

And no, Tontolet is certainly not angry about her father’s lack of wealth.

She’s just surprised he forgot to ask God to bless him with money – at that moment in the past when HE was taking orders and requests.

Endangered Naija Men

After last week on Twitter Nigeria, men have become wary of any bright-looking food served by their women, especially the ones they are not treating right.

Following Oloni’s thread about period blood and black magic, we can all agree that many men are not safe.

But wait a minute. She revealed nothing new, or did she?

Jaaruma has built an empire (every pun intended) off selling fortified ingestibles and creams for women to trap men.

So we are not exactly in uncharted territory, or are we? Should we be really worried?

Tekno’s Weed Battle

Tekno deserves a round of applause for overcoming his marijuana dependence – after all these years of needing the herb to function and perform.

But before you say ‘Praise Be’, the singer is not exactly done with the herb. Now, that’s a tall order.

Moving forward, he will only use “smoke when I want to, but I don’t have to smoke weed to be alright”.

If you don’t know the difference, ask that your friend who romances MaryJane every now and then.

T.I’S Weird Act

Imagine being taken to the doctor after every birthday to check if your virginity is still intact.

Imagine the feeling of going from having a fun birthday to spreading your legs on a doctor’s table.

Imagine the humiliation of the yearly trips to the gynecologist and the constant trauma as you worry that any physical activity could break your hymen.

That is the shocking reality of Deyjah Harris, daughter of Clifford ‘T.I’ Harris, an American rapper/actor.

I dare say it is safe to conclude that T.I just showed the world how much of a crude Nigerian father he is.

Side-EYE

After the social media noise about Lionheart’s disqualification simmered down, the Oscar awards authorities have finally spoken out.

Reacting to Nigerians’ screams of blue murder, Larry Karaszewski, co-chair of Oscar’s International Film Executive Committee, said: “If you’re submitting for something as important as an Academy Award, I would think you should look at the rules.”

Translation: Don’t blame the Oscars – or expect them to change their rules – as a result of your own incompetence.

With that being said, case closed.