Emem Isong, who is married to Akwa Ibom pastor Ab Isong, believes that men who lack financial stability and discipline should not pursue romantic relationships.
In a Facebook post on Thursday, Isong said that a man who is not financially stable is not being romantic by seeking love, but is instead being “reckless” and should not involve a woman in his “chaos”.
She explained that when a woman is always responsible for both the financial and emotional needs in a relationship, she can slowly lose herself emotionally.
Isong also said that love without stability often leads to pain, and she encouraged women to avoid relationships with men who cannot offer “peace, protection, or progress”.
“You ever seen a woman lose herself trying to love a man who had nothing to give her but stress? I have. And it’s ugly. She starts off soft—supportive, believing in him. But over time, the bills pile up, her smile fades, and her eyes get tired. Tired of carrying it all,” she wrote.
“A man with no money, no plan, no discipline has no damn business chasing love. That’s not romantic—it’s reckless. What you’re really doing is looking for a woman to sponsor your struggle while you ‘figure it out.’
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“That’s not being a man. That’s being a burden. If you can’t provide peace, protection, or progress—leave her alone. Don’t drag her into your chaos because you’re scared to be alone with your own lack.
“You think love will fix it? Nah. Love without stability just turns into pāin. And she’ll remember you as the lesson, not the blessing.
“If you’re laying next to a man that can’t pull out money of the ATM, wake the hell up. So before you pull up talking about love, ask yourself: Am I bringing peace—or just more problems? If your fathers didn’t teach you, I am!”
